Coming To Terms
by PearlshippingMuch
Summary: It took one day. I spent two hours as a hostage and eight minutes in that hallway. And everything changed. Future-Fic. Jamie Angst.
1. Eleven Days Ago

**Okay well, I watched "Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly." and I was suddenly hit with all this inspiration I had to write it down. It kind of turned into this, and I'm pretty much proud of this. I'll still be working on "I Wish To Remember" this is just a side-project. I hope my readers are reading this, cause I believe they will love it... I hope.**

**Summary: It took one day. I spent two hours as a hostage and eight minutes in that hallway. And everything changed. Future-Fic. Jamie Angst**

_Dear Diary,_

_My name is James Lucas Scott. I am sixteen years old and I attend Tree Hill high school. Eleven years ago I was five. I'd wear my red cape everywhere pretended I could be free and fly just like Superman. I'd never worry. I'd leave that to my parents. I only worried if I had to._

_Unfortunatley, in a place like Tree Hill there is a lot to worry about. Eleven days ago, Quentin Fields was shot. He is one of my best friends. Atleast, he use to be. He died that night._

_Brandon Audrey Fields is my best friend, and Quentin's little brother. I was the one who had to tell him. I was the one who saw it happen. I was the one who __let it happen. Brandon Audrey Fields is my best friend, at least, he use to be._

_Isabella Brooke Scott is my little sister. She is eleven. She is a talented young girl, with a bright future ahead of her. She has many talents but only wants to be like her mother – a singer. She has sandy blonde hair like myself, and hazel eyes like her mother. To Bella, I'm her protector. Atleast, I use to be._

_Kayla Haley Davis-Scott is my little cousin. She is five months younger than me. She has long brunette hair with deep blue eyes, just like her father. Kayla is my family. Atleast, she use to be._

_Jayden James is my other little cousin. He is five years old and looks just like his mother, Taylor James. I never really see them because they are always on the move. Jayden James loves me like a brother. Atleast, he use to._

_Nathan Royal Scott is my father, and one of my heroes. Eleven years ago, he was in a bar fight and lost the use of his legs. He got them back but it wasn't a pretty sight. He turned to alcohol to feel, and shut himself out from the world. He likes to tell me that he changed for me and Haley. My father talks to me. Atleast, he use to._

_Haley James Scott is a beautiful woman with right intentions. She loved nearly eveyone she met and was always there for you when you needed it. Haley was a singer but put her family infront of her dream. She is my mother. She is my hero. She is the one person in the world I could talk to about anything. Atleast, she use to be._

_Up until eleven days ago, we all would go to school, work, rivercourt. Anywhere we wanted, worry-free. It's amazing how many things can change in eleven days. It's amazing how much you can change in eleven days._

_Up until eleven days, I had two best friends, two cousins, a uncle, two aunts, a sister, a father and a mother._

_I had everything, and now I have nothing. Just a basketball and a court with a river beside it._

_I know I could change from this to what I was eleven days ago. But right now I don't want to. Because eleven days ago, I let two people die._

_I don't deserve to be that person ever again._

* * *

"_Jamie, stay on the ground." Haley said to her son who was kneeling next to his coach, holding down his gunshot wound with his jacket. Haley stood up off the floor hesitantly and walked towards to door. Everyone in the room gasped at her actions, except for Jamie._

"_Mom!" He shouted in a hushed whisper. "Don't you dare open that door."_

_Haley lifted her index finger to her lips. "I'm just checking, Jamie. No danger."_

_He stood himself. "No mom, your not. I will."_

"_No!" Haley almost shouted._

_Jamie pushed past his mother towards the door. "No danger, right?" The corner of his mouth lifted into a small cheeky grin. Haley sighed and sat down next to Quentin, holding Jamie's jacket on the wound. _

_Everyone is the room was silent, watching Jamie be brave and strong, just for them. Everybody loved Jamie, he was a loveable guy. Some people wanted to be him and some people wanted to be with him. Jamie just wanted to be brave, so his mother wouldn't have to. He knew what he could be facing once he opened that door, and he was scared to death._

_Jamie looked around the room at all the scared faces, including Kayla's. She had tears streaming down her face mouthing words to him. He shot her a reassuring smile and grabbed a nearby baseball bat. He made his way towards the door and opened it slowly, walking out slowly. He could peoples whispers as he left the room._

_Once fully outside, he looked to one side of the hallway. Clear. He turned his heels to the otherside and stopped and stared._

_Then came the gunshot._

Jamie shot up in his bed, panting heavily with beads of sweat making their ways down his face. He looked around his room, only to see the band posters and basketball awards and anything else you would find in a teenage boys room. No guns.

He sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, rubbing his red eyes. He cried himself to sleep that night, just like every night for the past dozen or so. On his bedside table sat a photo of him in his ravens basketball uniform with a teenage girl in a ravens cheerleading uniform. He eyed this photo for a while, before slamming it down.

He looked himself in the mirror in his room, and he hated what he saw. He wanted to go back to who he use to be, not this person. Even though they looked exactly alike.

"Just talk to him Nathan!" They would always fight in the morning. They would always fight in the night too. They wouldn't fight eleven days ago. He sighed and put on his grey hoodie and baggy jeans. "Nathan!"

"I dont want to, okay!?" His father screams back. Jamie made his way down the stairs with his hands in his pockets.

"He is your son!"

"Not anymore he isn't." Jamie didn't bother not interupting their fight. He strode into the kitchen and they both looked at him wide-eyed. Jamie didn't make eye-contact, he just took his avitor glasses from the bar of the kitchen and shoved them on his head. Then, he looked at his mother. Haley looked as though she just finished crying, just like every other morning. He turned his head to look at his father, who had shame in his eyes. He immediantly looked away.

"I'm going to school." He muttered, taking a apple from the fruit bowl. Nathan muttered something under his breath, unable for Jamie to hear. Jamie nodded goodbye to his mother. "See you there then."

He walked away but could still hear their conversation.

"He needs his father, Nathan."

"Just like I need my brother."

* * *

Jamie looked over his shoulder and eyed the empty seat behind him. He sighed, when was she finnaly going to come back to school? Even if she wouldn't talk to him, he wanted to know she was alright atleast. He was in spanish class, just doodling along his workbook. The teachers have been told to let him be for a little while, and while he doesn't know that just about everyone else does.

Brandon was two seats behind him, when he looked back towards him Brandon stared at him. He had his headphones in his ears with his arms crossed around him. He had hatred in his eyes, just like almost everyone else had when they looked at him. He understood why they did but some didn't. To them, Jamie did everything he could do but others say he didn't do enough. Jamie thought of himself as one of the other people.

The bell rang and Brandon sprung to his feet, grabbing his books and pushing past people. Jamie watched him go and sighed. All he wanted was his best friend back...

_He could hear the screams in the room from the gunshot and turned his head towards the door. Kayla was already in the doorway. She had her hand on her heart and immediantly embraced Jamie._

"_Thank god your okay." She cried into his shoulder. Jamie acted as though she wasn't there and looked at the shooter. Kayla soon noticed his actions and looked towards the attacker too. She froze._

_Jamie looked at his baseball bat and noticed the bullet hole lodged in the top of it. He gulped. "Good aim, hey Jamie?" _

"_What are you doing Mathew?"_

_Mathew twirled the handgun around his finger. "Just shooting."_

"_You shot Quentin!"_

_Mathew shrugged. "He was a bitch anyway. But I wasn't aiming for him."_

"_Who were you aiming for, Matt?" Kayla asked slowly. _

_Mathew grinned, showing off his teeth. "Mrs HJS of course." Jamie immediantly lunged for him but Kayla held back his elbow, and Mathew held up the weapon. "Your mom failed me. My dreams are vanished now." Jamie was fuming. Mathew was trying to shoot his mother?_

"_You can't shoot all of these people for one grade Mathew!" Kayla shouted close to tears. _

"_Maybe your right." He pointed his gun towards Jamie. "Maybe just one then."_

"Jamie?" Jamie looked up from his untouched lunch, looking towards his one friend left.

"Hi Lily." He muttered looking back down to his food and poking his fork with it. Lily sighed and sat down next to him.

"You got to talk to someone." She said taking his drink. Lily was always there for him, and was the one person who didn't leave him. "Maybe Kayla."

"Kayla doesn't want to talk to me." He said quickly.

"She doesn't want to talk to anyone. Just you like. How am I the only Scott who isn't broody?"

"You don't have Dan in your blood."

"Dan wasn't broody, Dan was a evil bitch."

"I'm that too."

"Jamie!" She grunted. "His death wasn't your fault you know."

Jamie shot up and took his tray of food. "I got to leave now." Lily sighed and watch him leave once again.


	2. Life Sucks And Then You Die

_Dear Diary,_

_Aunt Brooke said at the wake that one in every five people get assulted or raped, there were thirty-thousand aggravated assults in our state alone last year, seven thousand robberies, three thousand murders, six hundred rapes. It's official. Life sucks, and then you die. _

_How can our family, our friends, fall into those numbers?_

_When Uncle Lucas took his last breath, I died a little. When Quentin's body stopped working, I died a little more._

_I am not James Lucas Scott. I am a shadow, a physical memory of someone people used to know. A physical memory of someone people used to love._

_Love died on that day, too. _

* * *

Kayla Davis-Scott laid on her bed for the eleventh morning in a row that day. Her mother had been surrounding herself in work to get her mind off the death but she knew that didn't work for her. No matter how hard you try to stop thinking you can't. You can't forget those you love. You can't forget them being killed infront of you.

"_Mathew!" Lucas shouted from behind him, holding his hands in the air. Mathew turned his heels and pointed the gun towards her father. She gripped onto Jamie's elbow hard enough for it to break. "Don't do this Mathew."_

"_Oh look." Mathew started carresing the trigger. "__It's the coach who didn't let me join the team because of my insignificant grades.__ What an ultimatium we have." He pointed the gun back to Jamie. "The teacher's son," He pointed the gun back towards Lucas. "The teacher's best friend," He lifted it so it pointed upwards, with a evil smile planted across his face. "Or the teacher herself."_

_"Don't you dare!" Kayla put on a brave face._

_Mathew turned to her and smiled, walking towards her. "Or maybe the teacher's neice." _

_Jamie stood infront of Kayla protecting her with his body. "No." He sternly said. _

"_Alright then." Mathew cocked the gun and held it on Jamie's forehead. "Goodbye."_

Kayla's phone bought her from her thoughts. She looked at the caller I.D. and reluctantly picked it up.

"Hi."

"Hey." Lily sighed on the other end of the phone. Kayla knew this was about Jamie again. "You need to talk to him, Kay. He's dragging himself further under."

"That's not my fault." She replied, almost defensively.

"No, it's not," Lily spoke with sincerity. "But if you don't do anything about it, it might as well be."

Kayla could have laughed. She didn't. Her throat felt constricted. She hadn't laughed in eleven days. "I don't need to talk to him. He lost nothing."

"That is so untrue, Kayla!" Lily snapped. "Lucas—" She stopped. She could hear her voice crack a little at her brother's name, so she started again. "You know he was everything to him. Jamie didn't just lose Lucas, Kayla. He lost his Uncle, his friend, and now he's lost you."

Kayla pursed her lips together to keep them from saying things Lily didn't want to hear. "Look, I'm coming to school tomorrow, okay? Goodbye, Lily."

Kayla snapped the phone shut and looked at it for a long moment. Then she chucked it to the other side of the room and watched it shatter to pieces. The shattered phone lie motionless on the ground, and it reminded her of her heart.

She sat back on the bed and cried. And for the first time in eleven days, she felt a sudden emptiness in her heart, and she realized. It was where Jamie used to be.

"_No!" Lucas shouted, bringing Mathew's attention back to him. "Why are you doing this Mathew? This can't all because of your grades."_

"_It's not!" Mathew held his temple and pointed the gun towards Lucas again._

"_Have you heard of Jimmy Edwards, Mathew? He did exactly what your doing now, and now he is dead. Do you really want that for yourself?"_

"_Is that suppose to be a trick question?" He slowly walked closer to Lucas, gun steadily in his hand. Lucas gulped, and Kayla froze some more._ "_I'll let Jamie decide who will die."_

She heard her mother's car pull up in the driveway. She watched from the window as her mother ran a shaky hand through her messy hair, bent over the steering wheel and broke down into hysterical sobs. This was a new tradition. Come home, cry, enter the house, cry, make dinner, and cry. Kayla's routine was somewhat the same. Wake up, cry, sleep some more, cry, take a shower and cry.

This time she didn't sob. This time, she didn't break down in hysterics. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Her fingers outlined a photo of herself and Jamie, taken at a recent basketball game. She didn't want to look at her cousin. The cousin who let her father die. So she looked at his eyes. So pure and innocent. How must it feel to have an innocent mans blood on your hands? A father. A brother. A friend. A good man.

She took the photo out of the frame and, bit by bit, ripped it to pieces. She saw the look of pure joy on her face.

She ripped that, too.

* * *

Jamie walked into his house. There was no yelling tonight, only distant sobbing and murmuring. He walked into the living room and dropped his bag off his shoulder.

_"A seventeen-year-old boy identified as Matthew Jones entered Tree Hill High early last week with a stolen gun. Lucas Davis-Scott and Quentin Fields, both basketball coaches were shot and killed, while three others were injured. Fields died shortly after he was hit, though Scott died on impact. His daughter and nephew were in the room when the horrific murder—"_

Haley abruptly turned the TV off and wiped her eyes, standing up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen. She stopped when she saw Jamie, eleven days worth of tears falling freely down his face.

"It's not fair," he muttered. "I should have done something!"

Swiftly she walked towards her son. "Baby, don't—"

"No, Mom!" He was shouting now. He raised his hands and turned his back on her. "I killed two people. It is my fault." Jamie paused for a moment and let the words sink in before heading up the stairs.

_I killed two people._

Haley slumped herself down on the stool and cried. She cried for Quentin, she cried for Lucas, and she cried for Kayla. She cried for everyone who was hurt that day.

"You know he's right." Nathan was standing rigidly between the doors which led to their backyard. "It is his fault."

Haley looked at her husband with disgust. "How could you say that about your own son?"

Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know it too Hales. You know he could of saved him."

She shook her head and held her temple with her hand. "Your a dick. You know what he had to do!"

Nathan shrugged. "Mathew wouldn't of done it, anyway." He said walkking out of the room.

"_What?" Jamie asked bewildered. "Me? Decide? Decide what?!"_

"_Foolish boy." Mathew muttered. "To think you're supposed to be getting straight As. But then again...that's probably because of your Mom." He stopped and sighed. "Okay, let me explain this to you Scott. It's you, or your Uncle." _

"_I..." Jamie looked at Lucas, who was looking at Kayla with fear in his eyes. He would stay strong for her, he would stay strong for him. Jamie looked at Kayla who was crying furiously._

"_Tick tock, Mr. Scott."_

"_I can't do that! You can't just lay that on me!" _

"_Wrong answer." He smiled and kneeled down on the ground. "Lets let the gun decide." He put the gun on the ground and let it spin across the tiles. _

_Then, Jamie took his shot. _


	3. First Chance, No Chance?

_Dear Diary,_

_Mom always told me to give people a chance. But what do you do when you think those people shouldn't deserve a chance at all? Do you give them that chance, just so they can prove themselves or do you ignore them until they stop buggin you? Maybe it's because of their hair, the way they walk, the way they talk,_

_or maybe it's because of their family. Yeah, their family is just about right._

* * *

The next day, Jamie was wearing his black tinted avitars again with his grey hoodie. He let his blond hair hang infront of his face trying to cover it as much as possible. Lily told him about Kayla coming back to school. He knew it was good for her to do so – but his plan was to duck and cover.

If you were looking at Jamie right now, you wouldn't recognise him. He did a good job disguising himself in everyway possible. Lots of people have learned to ignore Jamie and the way he acted, they just talked about Nathan Smith's upcoming party.

Nathan Smith was Jamie's teamate and he told him that his dad use to be 'tight' with his in high-school. Nathan tried to be friends with Jamie like his dad but Jamie just ignored him. Tryhard, he thought. Nathan doesn't try anymore, not after that day.

"Don't touch me!" Jamie turned his head in the direction of the sudden angry voice. He immediantly recognised the girl and felt his chest tighten.

The brunette girl next to her pushed her against the lockers. "Maybe we should search her. Maybe physco-killer runs in the family." A group of girls started searching her bags and pockets, and as much as Jamie hated it he stepped it and took the belongings away from them.

"Go away, Jen." He muttered giving the girl back her bag and standing infront of her for protection. All the girls stood infront of Jamie to try and intimidate him.

Jennifer immediantly recognised Jamie when he spoke. "What's the matter Scott? You should be hating her more than us!" Jennifer said taking a step closer. Jamie tensed and took a deep breath.

"Just back off." He said softly, making sure his eyes wern't on hers.

The corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Whatever. See you after school, physco." Jennifer said marching off, with her posse close behind copying how she walked. Jamie shook his head and began to walk off.

"Wait! Jamie." Jamie sighed and turned around, he didn't want to face this. "I'm really sorry about my brother..."

"It's not your fault, right?" Jamie shrugged. "I need to get to class."

"Class doesn't start for another 20 minutes."

"Right." Jamie started to walk off, but she pulled at his elbow.

"Jamie please – can you just hear me out?"

"I don't want your pity Vanessa. You don't have to say sorry for what your brother did."

"I'm not giving you my pity. I just want to be your friend." Jamie straightened. He hadn't talked properly to anyone since the day it all changed. _Give her a chance _one part of his brain said _let the others eat her alive _said the other. "Are you going to Nathan Smith's party?" Vanessa said confidently.

Jamie shrugged. "I don't plan to. I don't plan going anywhere."

"You should go," she said taking out a flyer out of her bag. "it's kind of like a memorial service thing. It's at the school, too. People did that when Jimmy Edward's did the same thing a long time ago... I don't know much about it anyway."

"Uncle Lucas told me about that." Jamie said suddenly glaring at the flyer. "He didn't like it. People wern't showing respect."

"Oh." Vanessa looked at the flyer glumly inbetween them. Jamie sighed.

"Alright, I'll think about it." He went to grab the flyer out of her hand, their fingers accidently brushing. Jamie felt an electric shock through his body and a sudden lurching in his stomach. He looked up to Vanessa who was holding on to her stomach suddenly, but smiling a little. He quickly took his hand away and put the flyer away in his bag. He shoved his hands in his pockets and pursed his lips together. "See you later?"

Vannesa grinned and nodded. "Sure thing." Jamie waved and turned his heels to leave. He had a smile on his face while walking, a smile anyone could notice. _Jamie Scott smiling? _They would think. He pulled off his avitars and shoved them in his bag and looked around the corridor. Everyone _was_ staring at him. He shrugged it off and exited the room. How could a girl make him feel like this in the span of five minutes? He didn't want to feel like this. Not to _Mathew Tyler's sister. _He hid his smile with a frown immediantly.

* * *

"What was she doing with him?" Kayla asked angrily with her hand on her hip. "What was he doing with her? What the hell have I missed Lily?"

Lily shrugged. "More like what the hell have _I _missed. Jamie hasn't smiled like that since-" Lily paused, thinking of a word for the cruel day. "_that_ day." Lily couldn't understand it. Mathew Tyler's sister? With Jamie? The same Mathew Tyler who killed her brother and his uncle? The same Mathew Tyler that killed his coach. And the same Vanessa Tyler? Vanessa Tyler and Jamie Scott. "It's probably nothing."

"But he smiled!" Kayla pouted. "If it has to be _anyone, _does it have to be her? Nathan will never hear of it you know."

"Kayla calm down, okay? It's not like their dating or anything."

"They might as well be. Did you see everyone in the room stop and stare at them?"

Lily sighed. "Yes." They sat down at a table and sat in silence.

Kayla couldn't explain it. Lily said he was breaking, he sure didn't seem like it. He didn't need a cousin if he was going to go around chatting up physco-killer's sisters. She didn't like it, but she wouldn't do anything about it. Because Jamie wasn't her life anymore. Not after what he did...

"_Jamie!" Kayla screamed as Jamie lunged at Mathew. Although Mathew wasn't defenseless, because he packed a hard punch. He punched Jamie several times across the jawline and a few in the eye._

"_How does it feel to be the one on the bottom!?" Mathew shouted questionally. Jamie grunted furiously and punched him – atleast he tried to. Mathew kept missing the shots, or blocked them with his own hands. "You should of known I wouldn't of come prepared." _

_He looked to the side as Kayla cried in Lucas' arms. He grew frustrated of not being able to do anything. Looking around his surroundings, he noticed the shiny weapon less than two feet away from him._

_He kicked his way towards it and grabbed it in his hand. Holding it to Mathew's throat, it stopped the assult and they both stood to their feet cautiously. Jamie grinned._

"_Looks like the cat caught the mouse." _

_Mathew shook his head. "And the cat is going to get some serious pay-back right about now."_

_Mathew lunged for the gun, and let the cool metal feel in his hands. He didn't care if Jamie shot him because his life was over anyway. Everything was over after this. They both fought in a intense struggle and both had their hands on the weapon._

_Jamie, however had his fingers on the trigger._

"This was a bad idea, Lily." Kayla said not moving her mouth, and trying not to cry again. "Maybe I can just get home-schooled. Mum could afford it and she wouldn't mind and-"

"Kayla, stop. Your not getting homeschooled." Lily ordered her friend. Kayla just nodded and looked down at her hands.

"I still think this is a bad idea."

* * *

Jamie ran across the court letting the wind in his hair. Nathan shouted out various commands for Jamie to do. _This is payback, _he thought cooley. _Just let him have his fun. He deserves it. _

"Suicides – now!" Nathan shouted interupting a practise game. The whole team let out a groan but he stopped them. "Not the team, just Jamie." Everyone retreated silently and Jamie started the vicious run without any words. Maybe he was turning into his father, the arrogant. But he was also his mother, the warm-hearted. He wouldn't verbally/physically attack his father. Not today, anyway.

"Looks like the teacher's kid is finally getting his share in the bargain." Brandon whispered to Jamie before running off, joining the game again.

_Atleast he is talking to me._

**you know, my favorite colour is purple... hint hint review. :)**


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